Writing a blog post is almost like writing a diary post. I get to unleash, write my thoughts down or simply just get to have a moment to think and speak from the heart.
Today is one of those days where I feel the parenting kick, grumpiness or maybe just the “I need to be me for a moment again!”
I swear I get into this rut every time I am on maternity leave. It’s the isolation from other adults, or the unable to just get out of the house and go shopping alone, or go visit with someone. It’s more than the day outings with other moms. It’s being with no kids. Getting “me time” isn’t even easy, it has to be planned. I get it, I’m a mom and this is the job.
However, with my work start date 3 weeks away, I feel the tension, the stress more and more. Today I feel it hard.
My husband was away for a work trip this week. He had left early Monday morning and came back last night (Thursday). All was fine until this evening when he told me he had to work late. That’s when I felt a downward spiral of emotions.
I don’t know how to explain it but all of a sudden I felt myself snapping at the kids, the borderline wanting to cry. It was like a burst of pms hitting me out of the blue but it wasn’t.
Where was all of this coming from? Why was I feeling so down and grumpy? It all stemmed from the “I have to work late” comment. My hubby often has to work late, especially month ends. It’s part of the job but this week I didn’t expect it after him being away. I can’t blame him, but that’s the role we are in.
I don’t get to work late, I have to continually think of what’s for dinner, who has what activity going on, what daycare forms need to be filled in, what sports registration needs to be completed, what groceries are needed, laundry, baths, bedtime, homework, landscaping needs, house needs. The list goes on.
Obviously the hubby is there to help too, but when I go back to work those things will continue to be on me. I will have to put in the full work hours and do everything I do now as well. I know I’m not alone in this. It’s frustrating right?
That’s the stress level I can’t escape. Even with babysitters or family helping, that list won’t go away. It’s always there.
When I go back to work will I get to say I have to work late tonight? Can I simply just say “hey, I have to work late tonight” at 430pm? Will I get to not think about supper for a week? Will I get to not do laundry for the week? No, I can ask for help but that list will forever stay with me.
If you feel like me, just know I get it.
It’s hard to explain that I was looking forward to bringing my son to his friends birthday party tonight. Even if it was an outing to Chucky Cheese, it meant a night of no bath time, not putting anyone to bed. I didn’t get to have that choice. It was simply “I have to work late”. I had to quickly change my plans and not complain about it (but yet here I am complaining ha!)
Parenting is hard and we all know that. Today, I feel grumpy, it has been raining for 2 days straight (probably making me grumpy) and apparently I needed a break!
Is it just me who feels this way? Almost jealous of the hubby life? Although I know they have their own stresses etc, this post is about us mamas. The hubbies can write their own blog post of how they are jealous of our jobs.
I love being home with my kids, but the never ending day to day work is hard today. I just finished yelling at my son and told him to stop fighting and tattletaling . Mama needs a 5 min break!
I had the opportunity to get help from my mom this week but turned it down. It’s not that I have been overwhelmed from it all. I could have said yes, but knowing he was gone, I had my plan and we were in a routine. It worked out. Today the routine is out of whack.
To be honest, I don’t even know what is the point of this blog post. It’s not to get sympathy, honestly no! I don’t want comments saying hey, I’m here for you, or I can come out to help. It’s simply to acknowledge myself and others that sometimes a simple “I need to work late” comment can throw your whole day off. Maybe it’s jealousy of work coming first?? I’m no psychologist! Work does have to pay for these 4 beautiful souls.
I’m grumpy and it’s ok!
Today is that day!