When Shit Happens!

Last night I was reminiscing about a story that happened last summer. At the time it was not funny at all, but now, when I look back, I just laugh at the whole scenario.

It was a hot summer day last August, where I took all three boys to play at a splash park. Everyone was having a great time. We brought out a picnic lunch, and there were lots of laughs to be had and little to no fights.

Right after lunch, I received a text message from my realtor to inform me there would be a showing around 3pm. Great, we had lots of time to head home, tidy up and take the dogs out for a walk.

We left before 1pm, and when we arrived home, I put my 12-month-old down for his nap. Around 1:30pm, I received another message from the realtor asking if it would be ok if the showing would be at 2 o’clock instead of 3pm. As my son was napping, I said we were unable to leave. 10 minutes later, my baby woke up from his nap, I guess we could leave the house. So I quickly messaged my realtor back saying, yup, 2 o’clock is ok. We would be out of the house shortly.

I went upstairs to get my son out of his crib, but as soon as I opened the door, it hit me! What you say?? Crap! In every literal sense! I knew instantly my son had a poop explosion.

I started to panic and tried to get him out of the crib all while trying to not get any of it on me, the floor, the walls or anything else.

Now let’s remember, I was also pregnant with baby number 4, so I was not as quick or could not manœuvre correctly to keep my belly out of the way. I managed to get him all naked and cleaned up quickly. Then I heard the doorbell…What??? Already? It can’t be them!!So, I looked at my naked son and thought what do I do? Well, I thought screw it, stay naked for 5 more minutes. So I quickly ran down and asked my older son, Jeremy, to run upstairs and watch his brother while I answered the door

Stranger – “Hi! Is this (enter address) Lane?”

Me – “Hi, yes this is the address, are you here for the showing?” Most likely with a look of panic on my face as I was secretly hoping my son wasn’t peeing everywhere.

Stranger – “No, I was looking for (enter name)”

Me – “Sorry, there is no one by that name at this address.”

The lady proceeded to get her phone out, looked at a message or email and started searching. Meanwhile, I was looking at the clock and thinking holy crap, I have to get out of the house, and I still have to de-stink the upstairs.

Stranger – “Oh I had the wrong address, it’s xxxx Bay. So sorry”

Me – (pretending to be polite and patient) “Oh no worries, take care.”

At this point, I quickly ran and told the other two boys to promptly get their sandals on and run to the van as we had to leave ASAP. I ran back upstairs and dammit it still smelt awful. I used Febreeze as much as I could. I got clothes on my little guy. I made sure there were no pee spots anywhere. I threw his bedding in the laundry and quickly threw a new blanket in his crib. I grabbed the dogs and got out of the house. I then prayed that the showing would go well and that they wouldn’t wonder why it smelt like a whole greenhouse of roses upstairs.

I should mention that this day, it was pretty much 30 degrees Celsius! I was sweating to the max and felt pretty disgusting!!

Well to end my lovely story, the house sold, and it may have sold because it smelt so fresh.

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