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I AM LISTENING!

“Don’t touch that, it’s hot!”

“Stop hitting each other”

“Don’t spit”

“Stop yelling”

“Don’t climb on that”

“Ew, don’t eat that”

“Get off of that”

“Stop punching each other”

“Don’t run in the store”

Do any other these quotes sound familiar? I’m assuming yes and it doesn’t matter if you have boys or girls, you are most likely telling your kids to stop doing something or not do something. In my house, it doesn’t matter how many times I say any of these quotes, they just DON’T LISTEN!! AAAAHHHH, it drives me bananas!!  Here is an example of an event that has happened last week with my kids. (Can’t ever do anything nice with them without causing trouble)

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With the beautiful spring weather here, I decided it’s time to unhibernate from winter and take the kids out to the park. Boys are super excited! The oldest one is using his scooter, the middle one is using his bike and I’m walking and pushing the baby in the stroller.

All is going well…..then hell broke loose!

On our way back home, all seems well as I come across other friendly people in our neighbourhood and we greet each other. My boys decided hmm, let’s make this even more epic and let’s run away from mom. The middle one starts racing his bike and turning the wheels as fast as he can. He is trying to go so fast that other people are noticing him and are looking back. I even get comments such as “wow, he sure knows how to go fast”. The elder one with his scooter starts pushing faster and gets a groove.

Meanwhile, I am trying to keep up with them by walking fast, then quickly realize I can’t keep up. I start calling out their names and telling them to slow down and stop. Nope, nothing happening. They keep going.

I start shouting louder, nope nothing. One guy crosses me and even says “Sorry, I should have slowed them down for you”. Dammit, they know I am starting to get pissed and know my kids are being jerks.

They are now really far and I am SHOUTING! Those that know me, know that I have pipes and can get my voice going. I am so loud, I hear my voice echoing against the houses in the park! Yup, I should be embarrassed, but nope, I am mad!

They are still going at super speed and starting to get closer to the busy road. They know they are supposed to look both ways before crossing, but they also know they aren’t supposed to run away from me….so I am guessing they are not going to be very well focused.

At this point, I have to start running and pushing the stroller. Let me tell you, I hate running with a passion, plus I have crap shoes on. I am running, trying to yell, but of course, I am running out of breath because I suck at running. Finally, my elder one stops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He tells the middle child to stop.

When I reach them, and can finally catch my breath, no point in trying to be mad talking when you can’t even breathe. This is our conversation:

Me: “Why didn’t you stop? You know you aren’t supposed to go that fast and have to wait for me”

Elder: “I couldn’t hear you and didn’t know”

Me: “Don’t lie, I know you could hear me.” I look at the other one. “Why didn’t you stop?”

Middle child: “Cause he told me to go really fast and not to stop”

Me: “So you could hear me! You chose to not listen. You know what happens when you don’t listen? I don’t take you to the park with bikes or scooters again!! That was not nice and you guys were not listening to me. I yelled so many times”

Elder: “Dad will take us”

Me: “No he won’t because I am going to tell him what you did.”

Elder: “But he will forget.”

But he will forget….wow, the little stinker!! Oh, the joys of the kids not listening and me losing my mind in public. I know I’m not the only one or the last one. I know you guys can relate and my goodness, they really do teach us patience, but I seem to be needing a tiny bit more. Boys boys boys!!!!

This week we walked to the park

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